There is, perhaps, some glorious alternate universe where bacon contains the nutritional content of kale, is eaten all day, and hailed as some miracle super-food.
Imagine if bacon counted as one of your five-a-day?
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Sadly, inter-dimensional travel isn’t a thing yet, except in the movies, but you can still dream.
Either way, there are some great truisms about the world’s greatest meat that bacon lovers know, from the depths of their souls, and that will keep us all going until we can find this Nirvana of pork.
Bacon goes with everything
Mushrooms? Check. Lettuce? Check. Potatoes? Check.
More bacon? Check.
Bacon is so fantastic, some people are even named after it
Francis Bacon had the right idea.
I’ve never heard of anyone called Sophie Steak or Thomas Chicken though, proving that bacon is king.
The crunchy bits of fat are the best bits
But only if they’re nice and brown and crispy. Badly cooked white bits are not so good.
It’s great hot or cold
If it’s cold you can pick it up and eat it with your fingers.
It’s amazing in sandwiches
BLT is a classic for a reason.
It makes a fry-up
When eaten with eggs, it’s a marriage made in heaven.
Saving the belly part of back bacon until last is the pro’s choice
You should always save the best bit until last.
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It’s great with mayo and ketchup
But not at the same time.
It’s also good with maple syrup
Sticky, sweet and salty, FTW.
There are different types of bacon, depending on the weather
Back bacon for when it’s grey and rainy, streaky bacon for when it’s sunny, and turkey bacon for if there’s been a storm and you’ve lost all your money so you can’t afford real bacon.
It’s the Best Supporting Actor in a burger
It might just pip cheese to the post.
And also goes great in a Bolognese
It might not be traditional, but who cares?
Extra crispy streaky bacon is the greatest
If you can snap it half, it’s a good piece of bacon.
If you could eat it every day, you would
Thank you, wonderful pigs, for giving us bacon. Damn those calories.
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