A homeless woman was abused by her dad by from the age of five, fostered from she was nine and fell pregnant at the age of 16.
Throughout her pregnancy Zinnia fought to keep her baby but when her daughter was born she suffered with post-natal depression, and wanting a better life for her child she decided to put her up for adoption.
When Zinnia, now 23, was eventually given a flat of her own she was raped by two friends and ended up homeless because she was too scared to go back home.
She was just five years old when her alcoholic mum kicked Zinnia and her dad out of the house.
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She said: We got a house together and he physically and sexually abused me until I was nine and got put up for foster care.
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She was given a new family but said it happened so quickly I didnt know what was going on.
Zinnia, from Sunderland, continued: One minute I was by myself and the next I was in a house full of people and no one really told me what was going on. It was terrifying.
I had never gone to school before. I never went to nursery or primary school and I found it difficult because I couldnt read or write – and I didnt understand what the teachers were asking from me.
It caused a lot of problems at home. My foster parents and care workers kicked off and no one understood that I found it really hard.
At the age of 16 her life took a different turn after she fell pregnant.
Zinnia said: I went to college but couldnt finish because I was pregnant.
I had been self-harming from the age of 13, which social workers were aware of, so they were concerned about me being a parent.
I had to go through the whole pregnancy and prove to them that I could be a mum and at the end of it was allowed to keep her – as long as I stayed with my foster parents.
But, Zinnia who had been struggling with depression from a young age, ended up having a home birth and was hit with post-natal depression.
She found it hard to adapt to being a mum and felt nothing was good enough for her foster parents.
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She said: I wasnt doing anything right. I asked them for help, but they refused.
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Zinnia didnt know what Christmas was until she was nine years old, and the festive period still brings back bad memories and causes anxiety.
But that Christmas she wanted to create good memories and decided to spend it with her daughter just the two of them.
However, she said: My foster parents didnt let me, and told me to stay in my bedroom and took my daughter. They said they would tell my care workers that I was abandoning my child if I came out.
She continued to struggle living with her foster parents and didnt see any other alternative but to put her daughter up for adoption because she wanted a different life for her.
Zinnia said: I had not been able to be happy and constantly had all these rules to follow. I didnt want that life for her.
When she was three months old I told them I wanted to adopt her away. As soon as I said that they took her away from me and she was in my foster parents care, I couldnt go near her.
For two days, I could hear her crying and screaming and not being able to do anything was very painful.
And on her 18th birthday, her foster parents asked her to leave.
Not wanting to sleep on the streets she went back to her ex and stayed with him for a few months.
She eventually sought help and was given a flat of her own, and Zinnia started fighting to get her daughter back, but after a year-long court battle, she said the court decided it was best for her daughter to be adopted.
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She said: I was devastated but also pleased because I knew they made the right decision, I didnt have a job and I had mental health problem.
Zinnia locked herself in the flat for nine weeks refusing to leave and her partner at the time was forced to pay all the bills, and when she decided to break up with him, he turned violent and attacked her.
It made me feel unsafe in the flat. I had a flat but because I was so petrified of him and his family I ended up sofa surfing for a year.
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I got another flat and I started looking for jobs, but I was really low down and invited two friends over and they ended up raping me in the flat, and I didnt want to be there anymore.
However, she became involved with homeless charity Centrepoint and became friends with a person who encourage and helped her look for a work, and she eventually managed to land the job she still has today as a painter and decorator.
She said: My life started to become a lot better. Centrepoint helped me with bills I moved out of the flat and ended up private. I used to refer to it as just a flat, but now I have a home.
She has since been given Centrepoints rising star award by Prince William in recognition of how far shes come.
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Zinnia said: Prince William asked me if I had turned my life around for my daughter and when I said I didnt want her to be disappointed in me he said, “shes going to be extremely proud of you”.
When asked what she would say to other people who find themselves in a similar situation, Zinnia said: Dont give up and dont be ashamed to ask for help. I was, which made me homeless even longer.
Need help? Contact Centrepoint
If youre young and worried you might be homeless, were here for you. We offer advice to anyone in England aged 16-25.
Call us free on 0808 800 0661 (Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm).
We can also help people worried about a young person they know.
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