In 2005 Northern Ireland took the first steps towards equality by legalising civil partnerships, but it feels like 13 years later our country has moved backwards.
Since then, the rest of UK and the Republic of Ireland have introduced same-sex marriage, while Northern Ireland still lags behind. As the first civilly partnered gay couple in Ireland, myself and my partner – along with the first civilly partnered lesbian couple – are mounting a legal challenge to change that.
Slow Loris rescued and flown first class to UK after someone tried to sell it as pet
Growing up a gay teenage Catholic boy in nationalist Ardoyne, North Belfast, in the early 1990s wasnt an easy ride, but I survived to tell the tale and gained strength from where I once felt weak.
From a young age I always knew I was different, but didnt quite put my finger on why until I was about 13, when my peers started to notice too and before I could shake a tail feather I realised that I wasnt actually different – I was gay.
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I would love to be able to tell you all how it was like transforming into a beautiful swan but you cant have a rainbow without a little rain. I was subject to daily taunts – being called queer and faggot from people I had known for most of my life.
Thankfully, I have always had a large network of great support from family and friends, and as time moved on being gay became more common and accepted.
Then in the spring of 2003 I met the man of my dreams on a casual night out at a local gay bar. Call me an old romantic, but I really do believe it was love at first sight. We just clicked and knew we were meant to be together forever.
After two years we decided we would have a blessing party to celebrate our future life together as we couldnt imagine marriage ever being on the cards in Northern Ireland – the last place in the UK to decriminalise homosexuality. When civil partnerships were finally introduced, it felt like a victory.
On 19 December, 2005, among cheers and support of well-wishers (as well as protests), myself and Henry became Mr and Mr Flanagan Kane in Belfast City Hall surrounded by family and friends.
Over the next few years we dreamt about being able to start are own family, but the law was in our way again – in Northern Ireland a couple in a civil partnership is not eligible to adopt.
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We were exceptionally lucky – my female best friend (who is also gay and was in a similar position) and I were able to have a biological baby together. In August 2012 our family was complete with the addition of a beautiful baby boy.
But were it not for this stroke of luck, we would not be able to have a child. This is wrong and needs to change. The lack of equal marriage in Northern Ireland remains a direct infringement of our human rights under Article 8 of the European Convention – the right to a personal and family life.
The Northern Ireland Assembly recently voted that equal marriage should be permitted, but this can always be blocked by a Petition of Concern, under the constitutional set up in Northern Ireland. The only way equal marriage will ever be permitted in Northern Ireland is by way of a legal challenge.
As a couple we are not asking for special treatment or for our government to move the Earth. We are not asking them to play a Kylie song every time we walk down the street. All we are asking is for is the same civil rights as our heterosexual brothers and sisters.
Chris Flanagan-Kane is raising funds in support of his legal efforts to secure equal marriage in Northern Ireland on the legal crowdfunding site CrowdJustice. You can support by visiting the case page here.
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