A mum who was diagnosed with incurable cancer during pregnancy has released shocking photos of its disfiguring effects.
Former RAF air traffic controller, Kim Debling, 34, said red lumps ravaged her face following the devastating discovery that the rare cancer she battled during her first pregnancy had returned.
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Left feeling like a monster by stage four Cutaneous T-Cell Lymphoma (CTCL) – a rare type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma – she added that she does not want her children, Rose, one, and Harvey, six months, to get to know her.
She believes this will spare them the pain of grieving for her.
Kim, of Basingstoke, Hampshire, who has months left to live unless she can have a stem cell transplant, said, I know Rose and Harvey wont remember me, and thats a good thing.
No Disney character ever became a hero without losing a parent, but in a way, I dont want the kids to get to know me, so I can save them the terrible loss.
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I wonder what my children will think of me, and what conclusions they will draw about me when I am gone.
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But I still want to be the best mum I can ever be, no matter how long I have left.
Desperate to become parents, Kim and her RAF pilot husband Steve, 32, who she met on an air base and married in December 2012, began trying for a baby soon after their wedding day.
But after a year and a half with no success, the pair, who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, were referred for IVF on the NHS.
Amazingly, after just one round, Kim fell pregnant in November 2015.
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With her mind focused on her baby, she thought nothing of it when she noticed a red rash around her waist, only casually mentioning it to her GP during a routine appointment about her pregnancy a few weeks later.
She explained: We could not have been happier to be expecting our first baby. We had waited for so long for it to happen that the red patches were the last thing on my mind.
But when I finally saw the GP I did mention it, as it had spread to the tops of my thighs.
I was given some cream for it, thinking it was just a nasty rash, as well as being referred to a dermatologist.
In March 2016, Kim met with a skin specialist at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital and had a biopsy of her skin taken.
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Convinced she was just suffering with dermatitis, a type of eczema, she tried not to worry.
But in May 2016, when she was 24 weeks pregnant, doctors broke the news that she actually had cancer.
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She recalled: When I heard the word lymphoma I was completely devastated.
They told me I had a rare type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma that affects the skin, where the symptoms are a raised, rash or itchy patches of skin, lumps on the skin and swollen lymph nodes.
My only saving grace was that it was stage one, meaning it wasnt aggressive, so they could treat the skin directly with light treatments.
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After that, Kim had ultraviolet B treatment, which involves standing in a sunbed-style booth, at Basingstokes hospital.
Having a session two times a week, she kept going until two weeks before Rose arrived on August 27, 2016, at Frimley Park Hospital in Surrey.
Following the birth, the new mum then had 40 sessions of PUVA treatment – another form of ultraviolet light therapy – which she was confident had been successful.
In a bid to ensure she was treated as thoroughly as possible, Kim began a course of radiotherapy in February 2017.
But soon after her last session, she fell pregnant again – this time naturally.
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Wed always wanted a big family and children close together in age, so I could not have been happier when I found out I was expecting Harvey, she said.
However, Kims elation was short-lived, as the day after shed taken the positive pregnancy test, she felt an alarming lump in her groin.
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Sent for an ultrasound and biopsy straight away, in July 2017, she was told, at 16 weeks pregnant, that the cancer had returned, had spread to her lymph nodes and was not curable.
Me and Steve were new parents. We had another one on the way. Our new life together should have been just beginning, she said.
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The idea of leaving him as a single dad crushed me. He deserves someone to love and he deserves to be loved.
In the wake of her diagnosis, Kim was warned she only has months left to live if a stem cell transplant, where her damaged blood cells are replaced with healthy ones, does not work and more than five years if it does.
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Her radiotherapy put on hold, she started an 18-week course of CHOP chemotherapy, which is used to treat non-Hodgkin lymphoma and is suitable for pregnant patients – only stopping for the birth of Harvey on October, 31 last year.
Currently undergoing radiotherapy, she will begin chemotherapy next week in the hope that will make her well enough for a stem cell transplant, for which a match has already been found.
Reflecting on her bittersweet story, brave Kim continued: Without a stem cell transplant I could have just months left to live, and with it up to five years, but I am trying to remain positive.
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My life is actually one of real joy and happiness despite my cancer diagnosis – in fact I believe it has been a trigger to focus me in a really positive way. I am glad I was diagnosed with cancer.
My children are my life, my husband is the best man in the world. My life itself is wonderful.
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