For most parents, the thought of burying their child is their worst nightmare.
But Ive spent three decades fighting to do just that.
Its been more than 30 years since my daughter, Helen, aged 22, was murdered on her way home from work in February 1988.
Losing her in such a brutal way tore us apart.
But never being able to lay her to rest, because her cruel killer refuses to disclose where she is, means the grief has never eased.
Helens murder and her killers conviction in March 1989, made headline news around the world.
It was only the third murder trial to be held in the UK without the victims body available as evidence, since the Second World War. It was also the first murder conviction to be secured without a body, instead using the newly-discovered DNA process.
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Local pub landlord Ian Simms, now 63, was found guilty on the grounds of overwhelming forensic and circumstantial evidence.
Traces of my daughters blood were found in the private quarters of his pub, just a hundred yards from our home in Billinge, near Wigan.
Forensic experts found one of Helens earrings in the boot of his car and carpet fibers from the pub were found on her abandoned clothes.
A flex of wire found with her possessions – thought to be the murder weapon – was also traced back to the pub.
Simms had scratch marks on his face and gave a false alibi for the hours he was missing after Helens disappearance.
After he was jailed, I prayed he would end our torture by admitting what he had done – allowing us to lay her to rest.
But his cruel silence continued.
Only my strong Catholic faith, and the desperate need to find her, kept me going.
My family and I spent years carrying out our own searches.
We dug fields, crawled along rat-infested sewers, drained ponds and emptied mineshafts brick by brick – all to no avail.
In 1992, I wrote to Simms begging him to end this torture. His reply was abusive and threatening, promising revenge on his release.
I devoted my life to voluntary work supporting the families of victims of homicide and, over time, I realised that my situation was no longer rare.
Not only did advances in forensic science mean that more killers were being convicted without bodies, but more were also going to ever-desperate lengths to cover up their deadly crimes – exacerbating the pain of their victims families.
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This couldnt go on.
In December 2015, I launched Helens Law – a campaign calling for a No body, no parole law. I started a petition on change.org, asking for parole to be denied to killers who refuse to cooperate with the recovery of their victims bodies.
Within three months we were at Downing Street presenting more than 320,000 signatures.
Supporters were shocked that this wasnt already a law.
In October 2016, other families of missing murder victims joined the campaign and came with me to parliament to see my local MP Conor McGinn present a private members bill on Helens Law.
It passed its first reading unanimously.
Outside, we wept and hugged each other.
Sadly, the bill never received its second reading due to the sudden calling of a General Election – but we are continuing to push for this law.
I had a private meeting with the Secretary of State for Justice, David Gauke, in April this year, and was assured that the Ministry of Justice was taking the matter seriously.
Following a recent meeting with my MP, I am now hoping to consult with the Justice Secretary again to further discuss Helens Law.
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In Australia, five states have now passed No body, no parole laws – and they are already having an impact.
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Surely, we can do the same here?
Time is of the essence; at 75, I am not getting any younger.
And every day Simms gets one step closer to release. He is now in an open prison, enjoying unaccompanied day and weekend release.
The thought of him being freed to dance on my daughters grave tears me apart.
I have to accept that tragically – like Winnie Johnson – I may never find my missing child.
But I can create a legacy in her name to prevent this from ever happening to anyone else.
Which is why I am begging you to support me in a final push for Helens Law.
Please sign and share my petition; signatures have now reached 466,000, and reaching the half million mark before parliament re-opens would be such a boost for us.
You can also join my Facebook page on Helens Law and urge your local MP to back us.
Helens Law would bring hope to families of the missing murdered.
And it may also encourage killers to think twice about the cruel action of preventing parents from burying their children.
With your help we can get there.
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